Yes, our mini series "Why Are Children Easily Frustrated?" is still on-going and we are on to the 2nd poster now. As we know, there are many different reasons to why our children can get easily frustrated. Let's see what the 2nd point says.
Imagine that your child spots a beautiful toy car in a store. And he is transfixed. He has temporarily fallen in love, and it scares you. You detect danger. He wants this toy car, and you know it even before he speaks the words "I want that car Mama!". Oh he wants the car badly. You know what will happen if you say no, and you do not want him to throw his tantrum yet again. So you succumb to his 'want' and gets him the car.
This, dear readers, is a form of instant gratification.
Instant gratification is becoming more and more significant in our lives these days. We now live in an era when everything can be obtained in a blink of an eye. Need to shop? Go online instead of queuing up at the mall. Looking for a mobile phone? Just purchase it now instead of waiting two more months for the big sale. It is hard enough for us adults to wait and be patient, imagine how challenging it would be for our children!
Why is delayed gratification important?
Delayed gratification is basically resisting a smaller but immediate reward in order to receive a better reward later. It is important for a child to practice delayed gratification as this will make them grow into a person who is less impulsive and more patient and adaptable in life situations. A renowned research by Walter Mischel in the 1970's called the "marshmallow experiment" shows that children who demonstrated delayed gratification grew up developing better emotional coping skills, higher rates of educational attainment, and lower rates of addiction.
How do we train delayed gratification to our children?
One way to practice delayed gratification is through avoidance. It is the embodiment of the saying "out of sight, out of mind" - if it is not visible, children will not be reminded of it. Start storing those cookies and chocolate at a 'safer', less reachable place. Put your phone away when you are with your child so that they are getting limited screen time.
Another way to impose delayed gratification is through positive distraction. Have you ever been in a situation where your child is screaming because you are taking too long to prepare their food? Try singing a song with them while you prepare the food, or get your child to tell you how their day was. Before they know it, inshaa Allah, their wait comes to an end :)
May Allah bless our efforts and deeds.
No comments:
Post a Comment